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He's browsing your bookshelves. She's meeting your dog. You're sipping wine ever-so-close to the bedroom.
Having a date over to your house for dinner can be a recipe for romance — or disaster. But even disaster can be telling.
So it was when Christian Anderson invited a woman over for chicken fajitas, and overestimated how much water he needed to cook the rice, ending up with a mushy mess.
Until then, the pair had been dating casually. But her forgiving reaction to the ruined rice helped Anderson see potential for much more.
"Having that experience reminded me of watching my parents in the kitchen," said Anderson, a dating coach in Los Angeles. "I realized we really gel well, and it was exciting."
Even if the sizzle stays confined to the kitchen, a homebound dinner date can raise the heat of a courtship.
Men flex their provider muscle. Women show off their nurturing side. Teamwork is on full display — as is your home, in its freshly cleaned and uncluttered glory.
Don't cook? It doesn't matter. Whether you steam lobster or grill burgers, it's the gesture that counts.
Here's a guide to hosting a dinner date at your home, from making the date to menu suggestions.
Is it the right time?
While there are no rules, generally it's best to invite someone over to your house for dinner when there's already a semblance of a relationship, said April Beyer, founder of personal matchmaking and relationship consulting firm Beyer and Associates.
Too early on, the level of intimacy your home provides can be awkward, and the combination of good food, wine and the proximity to the bedroom could expedite a sexual relationship you're not ready for.
For men, Beyer suggests waiting until at least Date No. 4 to ask a woman over for dinner, so that she doesn't think you're creepy and because women enjoy being taken out for initial dates.
For women, it's important to ask yourself why you want to invite the guy over, Beyer said. A lot of women early on in the courtship will rush to invite a man over for a home-cooked meal as a way of seeing him again, which is a mistake if they're acting out of fear that he's not interested. (Chances are, if you haven't heard from him in a while, he's not.) But if the relationship is advancing naturally, go for it.
Setting the ambience
You want your home to look clean and uncluttered (don't forget the bathroom!), and for roommates to be absent, but aside from that don't go overboard in setting a romantic mood.
"It's all about being cool in your home — you want them to feel invited, relaxed, comfortable," said Matt Moore, a Nashville, Tenn.-based musician and author of "Have Her Over for Dinner" (Last Resort Press, $25); he also has a website have
heroverfordinner.com. "If you're wearing a full suit with a dozen red roses and rose petals everywhere, that's too much."
Do invest in a clean tablecloth and white plates, Moore said. Simple fresh flowers and candles — small votives at the center of the table rather than a long taper, so you don't have to crane your heads to see each other — are also nice touches, but keep the table relatively sparse.
Having a date over to your house for dinner can be a recipe for romance — or disaster. But even disaster can be telling.
So it was when Christian Anderson invited a woman over for chicken fajitas, and overestimated how much water he needed to cook the rice, ending up with a mushy mess.
Until then, the pair had been dating casually. But her forgiving reaction to the ruined rice helped Anderson see potential for much more.
"Having that experience reminded me of watching my parents in the kitchen," said Anderson, a dating coach in Los Angeles. "I realized we really gel well, and it was exciting."
Even if the sizzle stays confined to the kitchen, a homebound dinner date can raise the heat of a courtship.
Men flex their provider muscle. Women show off their nurturing side. Teamwork is on full display — as is your home, in its freshly cleaned and uncluttered glory.
Don't cook? It doesn't matter. Whether you steam lobster or grill burgers, it's the gesture that counts.
Here's a guide to hosting a dinner date at your home, from making the date to menu suggestions.
Is it the right time?
While there are no rules, generally it's best to invite someone over to your house for dinner when there's already a semblance of a relationship, said April Beyer, founder of personal matchmaking and relationship consulting firm Beyer and Associates.
Too early on, the level of intimacy your home provides can be awkward, and the combination of good food, wine and the proximity to the bedroom could expedite a sexual relationship you're not ready for.
For men, Beyer suggests waiting until at least Date No. 4 to ask a woman over for dinner, so that she doesn't think you're creepy and because women enjoy being taken out for initial dates.
For women, it's important to ask yourself why you want to invite the guy over, Beyer said. A lot of women early on in the courtship will rush to invite a man over for a home-cooked meal as a way of seeing him again, which is a mistake if they're acting out of fear that he's not interested. (Chances are, if you haven't heard from him in a while, he's not.) But if the relationship is advancing naturally, go for it.
Setting the ambience
You want your home to look clean and uncluttered (don't forget the bathroom!), and for roommates to be absent, but aside from that don't go overboard in setting a romantic mood.
"It's all about being cool in your home — you want them to feel invited, relaxed, comfortable," said Matt Moore, a Nashville, Tenn.-based musician and author of "Have Her Over for Dinner" (Last Resort Press, $25); he also has a website have
heroverfordinner.com. "If you're wearing a full suit with a dozen red roses and rose petals everywhere, that's too much."
Do invest in a clean tablecloth and white plates, Moore said. Simple fresh flowers and candles — small votives at the center of the table rather than a long taper, so you don't have to crane your heads to see each other — are also nice touches, but keep the table relatively sparse.
