|
LOS ANGELES -- Private investigators say it's one thing to suspect cheating, but an entirely different thing to see the evidence on video. Cell phones that take pictures, GPS tracking devices, even a list of your credit card charges available over the internet, were never a concern of cheaters years ago. Now, they're simple ways some cheaters are being caught.
"It's hard to make marriages work," says Patrick Schneemann of Western Investigations, a company that specializes in infidelity cases. "And it's particularly hard if there's a third party involved in the relationship."
"Our goal is to get that irrefutable evidence," says Schneemann, "that undeniable photographic proof that that cheater cannot wiggle out of or explain away."
Schneemann showed us some of the technology that makes it easier and cheaper than in years past to hire a private detective, and that makes it harder for cheaters to cover their tracks.
"This is what we call an IPOD shuffle cam and if you look closely, you can see the pinhole camera lens right there in that little hole." He shows us a tiny hole we would never have noticed had he not pointed it out.
He says hidden cameras in IPOD's, pens, hats and glasses allow investigators to record what goes on between cheating partners inside public places like restaurants, bars, even the gym.
In the case he is working when we meet up with him, Schneemann says his client suspects that her husband will be meeting his girlfriend at a hotel.
Schneemann books a hotel room near the room his client's husband has checked into.
"We'll put a little snake camera underneath our door into the hallway," he explains, "and we'll aim it at our subject's door, so we're able to determine and get proof of anyone coming in and out of our subject's hotel room throughout the course of their stay at the hotel."
In this case, the wife's suspicions were confirmed.
Schneemann says that doesn't happen in all of his cases, but in many. And when presented with the evidence, while a majority of couples break up, there are some who see it as a new beginning- a chance to come clean and try again. "Sometimes exposing that infidelity is the first step to saving the marriage, and recovering from it."
While technology may determine "if" your spouse is cheating, it does not usually determine "why".
"Women tend to cheat commonly when their emotional needs are not getting met," says addiction and relationship expert Dr. Drew Pinsky.
"Men, I hate to say it, often cheat because they feel they can. They can get away with it," says Dr. Drew. "And they're not as aware as women of what their needs are in a relationship."
Dr. Drew sees the problem of cheating as a basic problem of intimacy. "We don't come from stable families," he says. "We don't have close relationships with family members necessarily. And as such we have no model for stable attachment and closeness."
One cheater we interviewed was a perfect example of what Dr. Drew suggested. She said she watched her mother's intense pain for years due to her father's cheating. She then became a cheater herself so she wouldn't be the one left with the pain. But she learned in the end there is no escaping the misery.
"Physically and emotionally," she told us, "it hurts people and you will hurt in the end."
Licensed private detectives like Patrick Schneemann of Western Investigations get paid between $75 and $125 an hour. A client will usually purchase a block of hours for about a thousand dollars or two. But when spouses help detectives by checking emails or text messages, those hours, and the costs, can go down.
Schneemann says his job affects his clients' lives deeply. "It affects their family. It's serious business. It really is."
Schneemann has been married for twenty years. He and his wife have seven children. He spends his free time coaching baseball and teaching Sunday school. His personal opinion is that infidelity is a selfish act. "You can't forget what we're talking about here. We're talking about marriages. We're talking about people. Husbands and wives. And a lot of times we're talking about kids. Infidelity affects the entire family."
www.westerninvestigations.com (800) 656-6975
For more information on Dr. Drew Pinsky and his work: www.drdrew.com
"It's hard to make marriages work," says Patrick Schneemann of Western Investigations, a company that specializes in infidelity cases. "And it's particularly hard if there's a third party involved in the relationship."
"Our goal is to get that irrefutable evidence," says Schneemann, "that undeniable photographic proof that that cheater cannot wiggle out of or explain away."
Schneemann showed us some of the technology that makes it easier and cheaper than in years past to hire a private detective, and that makes it harder for cheaters to cover their tracks.
"This is what we call an IPOD shuffle cam and if you look closely, you can see the pinhole camera lens right there in that little hole." He shows us a tiny hole we would never have noticed had he not pointed it out.
He says hidden cameras in IPOD's, pens, hats and glasses allow investigators to record what goes on between cheating partners inside public places like restaurants, bars, even the gym.
In the case he is working when we meet up with him, Schneemann says his client suspects that her husband will be meeting his girlfriend at a hotel.
Schneemann books a hotel room near the room his client's husband has checked into.
"We'll put a little snake camera underneath our door into the hallway," he explains, "and we'll aim it at our subject's door, so we're able to determine and get proof of anyone coming in and out of our subject's hotel room throughout the course of their stay at the hotel."
In this case, the wife's suspicions were confirmed.
Schneemann says that doesn't happen in all of his cases, but in many. And when presented with the evidence, while a majority of couples break up, there are some who see it as a new beginning- a chance to come clean and try again. "Sometimes exposing that infidelity is the first step to saving the marriage, and recovering from it."
While technology may determine "if" your spouse is cheating, it does not usually determine "why".
"Women tend to cheat commonly when their emotional needs are not getting met," says addiction and relationship expert Dr. Drew Pinsky.
"Men, I hate to say it, often cheat because they feel they can. They can get away with it," says Dr. Drew. "And they're not as aware as women of what their needs are in a relationship."
Dr. Drew sees the problem of cheating as a basic problem of intimacy. "We don't come from stable families," he says. "We don't have close relationships with family members necessarily. And as such we have no model for stable attachment and closeness."
One cheater we interviewed was a perfect example of what Dr. Drew suggested. She said she watched her mother's intense pain for years due to her father's cheating. She then became a cheater herself so she wouldn't be the one left with the pain. But she learned in the end there is no escaping the misery.
"Physically and emotionally," she told us, "it hurts people and you will hurt in the end."
Licensed private detectives like Patrick Schneemann of Western Investigations get paid between $75 and $125 an hour. A client will usually purchase a block of hours for about a thousand dollars or two. But when spouses help detectives by checking emails or text messages, those hours, and the costs, can go down.
Schneemann says his job affects his clients' lives deeply. "It affects their family. It's serious business. It really is."
Schneemann has been married for twenty years. He and his wife have seven children. He spends his free time coaching baseball and teaching Sunday school. His personal opinion is that infidelity is a selfish act. "You can't forget what we're talking about here. We're talking about marriages. We're talking about people. Husbands and wives. And a lot of times we're talking about kids. Infidelity affects the entire family."
www.westerninvestigations.com (800) 656-6975
For more information on Dr. Drew Pinsky and his work: www.drdrew.com
